*a constant parallactic paradox, sublime*

Human Talk

“Don’t let your past define you” is poorly phrased in the powerful mind of a Warrior Queen.

This is a shoutout to everyone going through battles, no matter how big or small, those with a dark past, and present… those who are to avoid a dark future… whether you are diagnosed with PTSD or not, to those who aren’t honest to themselves, to those who need help and those who can’t even self-help. For those who are afraid to address issues that haunt them. Those who are scared to open up.

2018-11-06 12_32_54-Ariane Pearl Hoekstra

To my dear Ariane, I’ve witnessed how your Love for God and your faith keeps you happy and even more glorious in His Path. Thank you for letting me share this here. I love you always!

Mayon Volcano Eruption – Jan 2018



Here you can mark yourself safe or help those who are affected or check on your family or friends in Albay.

“an estimated 40,000 residents (~8,300 families) have fled their homes in the Philippines for a safer location. While local authorities shut down some government operations and schools, it faces a shortage of emergency funds. The province is waiting for federal financial assistance in order to evacuate more residents and coordinate emergency management teams.”

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” – Maya Angelou #savealife

A hold-up with 4 stabs nearly killing Chito Ochave Cortes, puts the world at risk of losing another good soul. He is the breadwinner of his family and one to always put others needs before his own. Now it is him who needs help and I am reaching out to anyone who could. Any help, monetary and prayers, would be greatly appreciated by many. Let us help one another, for we are born capable of doing so, and in doing so, we make the world, bit by bit, a better place.

Click on the link below or use the widget on the right panel.

https://gogetfunding.com/embed-widget?frame_type=t5&oid=519004Fundraising with GoGetFunding

Of Time…

Of Time…. – lamentations in poetry.xyldrae.com

27 Shots of Amsterdam – By Day and Night

“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.” – Angela Monet

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Xonnette*Soul is now up!

On what expense does a man bare his soul
to a woman he does not intend to keep?
And on what expense does a man keep
a woman he does not intend to bare his soul with?

Excerpts from On What Expense.

Read More in poetry.xyldrae.com!

I Know Where You Live!!!!!! (An Ordinary Love Song?)

A million smiles, I’ve lost to the world…
Your absence breaks my heart in vain…
You make me feel, strange currents move my skin;
Your touches storm the rain away…

A million kisses would make me breathe easy
I think that words are just so empty
Sing me a song…
Such Art in your eyes….
Just live in this moment with me….

Don’t run away….
Let’s make it together….
Don’t run away….
Believe in forever….

This is an original song (which is actually a love song) and collaboration between me, my cousin Doll for lyrics and vocals, and The Pissheads (Sam Osborne for vocals and bass and Gil Apuya for the lead guitar):

Looking Up By Looking Down


Looking Up By Looking Down, originally uploaded by valkyrjaxoul.

Who says you’ll never see the sky if you’re looking down? Haven’t you heard? God is everywhere and He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him.

(Photo taken along the water falls in Mt. Balagbag, Philippines)

The only way you could have convinced yourself that I’m a pessimist is by being one yourself.

The only freedom you’ll ever need
Is freedom from yourself.

The sweetest thing a person can do to you
is to do the sweetest thing to you and then do you wrong. Right?

… and when all you claim to need to live
is to have my world revolve around you,
live for you,
I find it very unnecessary to die for you.

You don’t really have to give me the whole damn world when I’ve spent my entire life in struggle so now I am apart from it.

And of course, you will never understand if you don’t listen first.

How can a person respond to a person who’s asking for something you’ve already given, and given in its best form?

Some actions would appear and come to you like an assault of flying daggers, but if your heart can only see the intentions behind them… you’d know you were never the target.

If you so believe in choice, why do you call yourself a slave of circumstance?

Life is not like a box of chocolates these days. People seem to always know what they’re gonna get. And people seem to want to always know what they’re gonna get. Where are all the people who actually want to live???

You keep on looking at me like some sort of mirror. Is that why you’re breaking me?

You keep on looking at her like some sort of mirror. Is that why you keep trying to break her?

You keep on looking at him like some sort of mirror. Is that why you love him?

Do you know how the uneducated take opinionated news? Of course you do! It clearly shows in your opinions.

Okay…. If you want me to be “Marcia f****** Braidy” all you have to do is carry on with your fantasy whilst I live my life in the real world. Kindly excuse me.

How typical our response to anger is…. Aren’t you all bored with that?

Taking responsibility and being responsible are two different actions. It’s nice to have them come together…

What if? What if? What if? Are you a fool to obsess with making me think like you? No thanks, but I am truly grateful for what is, what is, what is, what was, what was, what was, and what will, what will, what will. And for someone who doesn’t bother to know the difference, just dismiss yourself on your own accord, then I’ll be glad to finally talk.

You make it sound right. 😉 Take a hint! Good luck!

He is a hero because he died saving someone else’s life. He’s human and divine because he had the heart to make that choice.

Everyone is a victim in any story. We just miss the fact that the antagonist is not among us and that the obvious solution and mission is co-existence which can only be achieved through love.

If it’s not pride, why does it overlook everything it tramples on?

“How do you kill a thing that has already died?” – Lonesome Minstrel
Give it life then kill it again.

Love… love… love…. why are people so obsessed with what it’s not?

Come to think of it…. let me just end this by telling you, I love you. 🙂

IN SPITE (Can We Really Choose What We Feel?)


Can we really choose what we feel?

I saw a post that says “Misery is an option… Choose not…” I felt happy to behold someone, IN SPITE of the ugliness we trash in this beautiful universe with, stand up against Misery (and as always, I’m proud of You soldiers of Life!) Keen with context however, I had to comment the following:

1. “What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.” – St. Augustine; LOOKS LIKE A PERSON ;)) ….created in Love’s own image and likeness… God is Love.

2. here’sanother one from some woman named Clarissa Pinkola Estes: ” It is inthe middle of misery that so much becomes clear. The one who say snothing good came of this is not yet listening.”

“When God loves a creature he wants the creature …to know the highest happiness and the deepest misery He wants him to know all that being alive can bring. That is his best gift. There is no happiness save in understanding the whole.” – Thornton Wilder

and the best of the best:

English Standard Version (©2001) :

“Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.” – Ecclesiastes 7:3

Not to refute, but to plainly express my mentality on the subject of “misery” or what I refer to as “raw emotions” as choices:

For me, “misery” (or any other “raw emotions” such as “love”, “anger”,”happiness” etc.) is not a choice but a natural happening in life and what we do with it are the real choices, whether we shrug it off ,declare its non-existence, grow from it or what not. Thus, overrating the power to chose to the point that we can not face the distinction between choices and naturally occurring truths, may make a person somewhat blind to the higher power, which is the power of God that can, from the worst, bring out the best. It’s okay to be miserable… but to choose to laugh, to bond, to love, to live, IN SPITE OF THAT MISERY which just makes you think and feel like just oozing it out to everyone and everything around you… that’s a good choice. That’s what I do. And when I can’t really take it anymore… I could at least choose to isolate myself from the world per chance to have a clearer, more intimate and personal salvation that can only come from God.

O-oh!!! I’ve Tangled the Spider’s Web While It Was Building It!

On 2010-02-10 – Wednesday, approximately 6:30a.m.

I was about to go outside our house when my peripheral view caught the stunning sight of a spider web and focus rendered it too huge to just pass by that anyone who wants to get out of the house must destroy the web. I stayed inside then and just gazed at the live works of God – A spider and its unique design which is its home-building ecology based on spider webs that only they can produce. It was a work in progress. I took a video but in the process of panning through the threads, destroyed the unfinished spider’s home unintentionally. 😦 Sorry.

As a freak of nature, I fear revenge. But then again, what’s more important is the question “What is God telling me in this rare experience?” Thus, the following thoughts:

– REMINDER: We ought to be keen with our surroundings and senses in order to not miss the beauty of God in His creations.

– We ought to be careful WHERE WE BUILD OUR HOME. The spider built its home where it was bound to be destroyed necessarily for others to be able to live their lives.

– Sometimes, we just randomly do things that are in the way of others. And being so, complications become inevitable.

– People will come and go. Sometimes, those who do, in the process, destroys something. But when God allows something to be destroyed, it’s to put you in place. Because the spider’s home was destroyed, it should then know better than to build a home in front of a human’s gate. Thus, learn and rebuild… in the right time and place.

– Building something grand requires redundant procedures such as the spider’s going round and round in circles to weave its home. Well… students’ academic routines build a grown up, qualified for larger responsibilities. Going to work every day builds a professional productively contributing to society. Stuff like that but what else? Perhaps we must reflect on our redundant routines and review whether they are necessary for greater things. Another redundant routine is our virtual activities. What good do they do? Many, of course, but not all of them are actually on to something good.

God speaks to us in many ways. For me, this is one of them.

Excerpts from A Conversation Between Two Bored Programmers

Programmer 1: Recursive iteration of mundane functions won’t make sense until it breaks out from a statement.

Programmer 2: I guess I just have to figure out what that statement is then.

Programmer 1: Correct 😀

Programmer 2: Unless I made that statement, then I’d have to figure out why the conditions aren’t met.

Programmer 1: Nyahahaha

Programmer 2: But how do you know if there’s something wrong in the statement or just something missing in the iteration…?

Programmer 1: There are 3 signs. The bad is having a lot of multiple warnings maybe from logs, system out, or even from friends :D. The WORSE is a lot of thrown errors and exceptions. WORST still is it has NO signs, and your program life cycle is just looping endlessly because you activated a TRAP method signature :S then you must type “kill all !@#$%^” este “kill all “

“Eric” – A Tribute to you Kuya…

“Eric” – A Tribute to you Kuya…

I play a nocturne but the pain doesn’t go away…
The words are broken with so much I want to say
Every time I feel alone
I just look up in the sky and see you smiling down on me
Thoughts of you make me feel better even if I cry… even if I cry…

You are a hero and I will not mourn how you died
You are a hero and I will celebrate your life
No sweeter way to go than when you laid down your life for love
Take mine with you… See you at the crossroads… See you at the crossroads…

I want to be home with you just a little longer
To appreciate those times then I will be stronger,
Stronger as I believe in God’s will
In his time, we will surely heal…
Thoughts of you make me feel better even if I cry…

You are a hero and I watched you transcend into light…
You are a hero and I couldn’t stop you, when you gave your life…
And from every heart touched, from every life moved in one or another..
We send, we send our love…

Composers: Audrey R. Jacob, Xyldrae Diane E. Jacob, Carmela Balunso, Chezka R. Vidal, Lanelle Quirona